A kiss goodnight, twice

I loathe the inconvenience of a dreamfeed, but love the peaceful serenity that envelopes the house during it, a time to sit and contemplate for a few minutes without distraction. Tonight I enjoyed it.

I always check on the children before I turn in for the night, I can't sleep unless it's been done. For Fraser it's a given, he needs a feed, but for Maddie I do it purely for the fact that I get to give her another kiss goodnight and to tell her I love her. And, I have also, for like, forever, given her two kisses, one for me, one for daddy, I do it instinctively when he's not here to do it himself. But it was only tonight that I noticed myself doing it, and tonight that I spent those few minutes of peace and quiet considering it.

Their father, who is a brilliant one at that, is away from them far too often. They are fine with it, Maddie less so because she's older, wiser, but still well adjusted to the coming and going nature of their pa. I find myself in the position of filling this massive void, I don't know whether I do it well enough, but I do it as well as I can and I suppose I should expect no more. I am grateful that when he's here, he is 100% here, he gives his all to his family and for that, the least I can do for him to to make sure that those kiddo's of ours get a goodnight kiss from us both, and know they're loved by us both. It's in my subconcious, isn't that weird?

I hope the two kisses make up for it...